Posts tagged personal
All my life, I’ve been invisible.
It’s the “Wizard of Oz” syndrome - I create worlds of wonder and travel the nation because of my vintage style, but when placed in the same room as my “fans”, none of them can even recognize me. If they do, they sure know how to contain their excitement.
I attend fashion events and even my own magazine launch parties and no one notices me. I should be used to this by now. All my life, I’ve been invisible to people. They only started paying attention to me when I turned into someone else.
It didn’t matter who I became — a man, a woman, a popular person, a generic person, a new face, a familiar face — people only noticed me when I became something other than myself.
I should be used to this by now, but it’s a hard fact to get used to. The fact that my perceived self-worth is synonymous with someone else’s image; the fact that my own image is worthless.
As I approach what I assume will be the peak of my career, I can’t help but think about these things. Perhaps Paloma Faith summed my feelings up in the lyrics:
“I can be what you want me to be,
but do you want me?”
My presentation for the Honolulu Academy of Arts is due tonight, so I’m hanging out with #cindysherman to get inspiration.
I’m surprised and yet I’m not surprised.
I mean, 3,000+ of you reblogged an interview with me (a damn good one too) done by Tumblr, Inc. Yet less than 10% of you seem to have read it. It’s nice to have my face out there, but if I still feel invisible after it all, it makes me feel uneasy.
Still in LA shooting. I shot with Joseph Vincent yesterday. Today I’m shooting with Tammie Brown :)
Hey everyone, Cheyne here, reminding you that I’m a real person.
I know the foundation of this blog is built upon me channeling and portraying different people, but remember that behind all of those personalities is a real person. I try to keep this blog as de-personalized as possible, but it would be nice to get nice words once in a while. I suppose the fact that these characters are more popular or adored than the artist is a testament to how powerful my work is.
I think one of the reasons why this project is so awesome is because it’s not just art, but art that involves people of the world in a unique way.
Stay involved and stay in touch.
While there is great power and pleasure in being able to transform into anyone I want, I sometimes fear that people will forget what I truly look like. But then I look back at photos of myself and feel like I couldn’t even grasp back then how fabulous I really looked or how much possibility laid before me, I just enjoyed who I was and lived in the moment. So I think I’ll continue to do that and however people wind up remembering me when I die, just know I was the best I could be.
